I still clearly remember my first trip back to Vietnam with my parents during the end of year school holidays.  During our stay, one of the side trips with dad was to the place where our family first settled prior to my older siblings being born. 

My dad often looked for opportunities to help people in need of material support.  On one occasion, he invited an elderly widow over for lunch.  She was well-known in the area and lived alone; she would receive a visit from a distant relative on rare occasions and she was also referred to as being “poor as a church mouse”.  People in the area gave her the nickname “the lonely aunt” (countries in the east address anyone similar in age to one’s mother as aunt).  This lunch with her made both my brother and myself feel awkward and uncomfortable.  We even thought to ourselves why dad didn’t just give her a donation.  At the time we simply didn’t understand this incredible act of charity from dad.  Dad’s inspiration came straight from the gospel.  The Gospel of Luke for this weekend talks about charity and humility. 

A recent reflection on this experience gave insight into that very person that I was many years ago.  Both my reaction and thought were uncharitable.  Even the very thought of giving her a donation to keep the lady at an arm’s length was in reality a false sense of charity.  Charity can be false and feign should it be used: to fulfil an obligation, to give without making an effort to know the person and to seek a return in favour or for recognition. 

Jesus, after seeing people jostle for places of honour, used the occasion at a banquet hosted by one of the important figures to talk about humility.  The role of a guest is to act with humility because ultimately their host has the power to determine where guests are seated.  Guests with any common sense or awareness would take their proper place out of fear of embarrassment should they be asked to move elsewhere.  Humility is demanded from all people even the important and powerful as Jesus stated “For anyone who exalts themself will be humbled, and the person who humbles themself will be exalted”.

Just as charity can be false so can humility.  False humility seeks to win over others by appearing and acting in a certain way.  As with false charity it once again comes down to recognition. 

Many are motivated by recognition.  Often we see videos of people involved in acts of kindness.  These are people who have social media accounts used in boasting their brand.  The more views the more exposure they get.  Greater exposure can only be good for their business. 

Who we eat with at the table tells a lot about our status and who we associate with.  When someone outside of this circle joins in it upsets the social balance.  The most important meal, the Eucharist, is open to people from all walks of life.  God as host demonstrates the perfect humility and charity.  The God who invites and calls us as friends can inspire us to do the same for others. 

By Fr Hoang Dinh